


Camp Jibblies

by Ev Pocket (evpocket)



Category: Homestar Runner
Genre: Crude Humor, Gen, Horror, Slasher, Strong Language, Summer Camp
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-27
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-10-29 02:08:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20788838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evpocket/pseuds/Ev%20Pocket
Summary: The new camp counselors show up early to get everything ready for the summer, but someone there wants revenge, and they're willing to kill to get it.





	1. Cold Open

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there friends! This is my first time in at least five years trying to write a cohesive multichapter fic, so I hope you'll like it. I'm currently trying to get a job, so updates might be infrequent, but I'm hoping to finish it before November. Regardless, I hope you all enjoy the first chapter.

Bubs frowned as he strained to move a heavy box over to the pantry. One wouldn't think that packages of instant Hot Jones mix would weigh so much, but enough to satisfy several dozen kids for a whole summer really added up. 

He didn't really want to be here, working as a cook for some lousy summer camp out in the middle of nowhere, getting mosquito bites and grease burns. But, to be honest, his baloney truck hadn't been getting enough business. I'm fact it wasn't getting any. What was wrong with kids these days that they didn't want a room temperature piece of baloney on a hot day anymore? He needed a new way to bring in money over the summer months. 

As he finally got the big box onto the shelf he took a break, wiping his arm across his forehead. It was hot; no air conditioning, and the evening sun pouring through the windows of the kitchen. He needed a break. As he sat down on a crate of canned food, cursing his sore back and knees, he thought he heard the creak of the door opening in the mess hall. 

"No way am I getting up to check on that," he said to himself, leaning back against the planks that held the nearby shelves up, "I just got comfortable."

He shut his eyes and tried to sit still, hoping he could cool off if he did, but when he opened his eyes again he found he was no longer alone in the kitchen. 

"I thought you kids weren't getting here till tomorrow," he said, trying and failing to hide his annoyance, "But, uh, what can I do for you."

No response.  
The other began to rummage through the drawers. 

"Are you looking for something?" 

Still silence.

"Hey kid, you shouldn't be playing with knives," Bubs warned, "I could get sued if you hurt yourself."

Bub's expression turned from one of irritation to concern as he realized what the other was doing. 

"Awe, come on now, let's be civil. If I did something to make you mad we can talk it over."

But the other wasn't deterred. 

"Full refund?" Bub's choked out. He was desperate now. 

But his bargaining was pointless. 

There were sounds of a struggle, then there was a scream from the kitchen, but soon it was quiet again. Perfectly serene and peaceful for the impending arrival of the camp counselors to... 

CAMP JIBBLIES


	2. Chapter 2

"Alright everybody, listen orp," Coach Z tapped at the clipboard with his pen in an attempt to get the groups attention. Everyone was talking amongst themselves and busily unpacking duffel bags from the backs of cars (aside from Strong Sad, who stood off to the side, quietly letting mosquitoes bite him.) Gradually they all quieted down and turned their attention to Coach Z, who was standing on the steps on the councillors cabin, a run-down two story building with fading mint green paint.

"We've got one week left until the campers start to show orp, and since some pyorple--" he cast an annoyed glance over at the mess hall, where Bubs was suspiciously absent, "--have decided that they aren't going to pull their weight, I want you all to give 110%. Now let's see who we've got."

He looked back and forth between his clipboard and the group in front of him. In all honesty there was nothing written on the board, he just wanted to further drive home his authority, something he rarely got to do.

"Hamstray, good to see you. Pam Pam, The Chort, Strong Bad, Strong Mad--"

"PRESENT." The eldest of the brothers exclaimed.

"Uh, noted. Strong Sad, aren't ya ursually at Glorten Camp?" He didn't bother letting Strong Sad reply before continuing, "and Marzipran; I hope to see you during the early morning polar bear swims?"

Marzipan scowled.

"I hate you so much Coach Z."

Coach Z laughed uncomfortably.

"Yes well, glad to see everyone is in good spirits. Bring your stuff up to your rooms and meet me brack out here when you're done."

\-------

"Homestar, aren't we going to bunk together?" Marzipan asked, as her boyfriend walked past the room she had chosen, dragging his stuff behind him.

"Pft, no way. I'm totally gonna share a room with my best bud, Strong Bad."

Pom Pom bubbled something rude.

"No you definitely are not." Strong Bad yelled from across the hall, overhearing the conversation. Marzipan sighed,

"Okay, I'm breaking up with you, then."

"Alright," Homestar replied noncommittally as he shoved his way into Strong Bad's room.

Strong Mad stomped upstairs, effortlessly carrying his bags, The Cheat, and The Cheat's bags. It was no question that these two would be sharing a room. The Cheat hopped off Strong Mad's shoulders and into their room and began to unpack, carefully tucking The Denzel into bed.

Strong Sad made his way up, scratching at the red spots that were already dotting his skin. He looked around, unsure of where he was supposed to be. Ideally, he wanted to be in the room that was the furthest away from his brothers's, which seemed to be Pom Pom's. He knocked on the doorframe and stepped in, setting his bags on the floor. Pom Pom was hard at work taping up posters of scantily clad women all over the walls, and hardly acknowledged him. 

"Is it alright if I claim the other bed?" He asked, "I'd like to leave Marzipan her privacy."

Pom Pom shrugged and bubbled in the affirmative. Of course, he expected Strong Sad to leave him some privacy as well, if he happened to bring a girl over at any point.

The sleeping arrangements were decided and everyone was starting to make themselves at home, when they were all taken aback by an eardrum-piercingly loud shriek. The rushed to the source of the terrified noise, which had come from Marzipan's room.

Homestar swung the door open and dashed in, the rest gradually following,

"Marzipan, are you okay?" He asked, puffing his chest out.

Marzipan's face was bright red from rage and her breathing was shaky.

"There's a dead frog in my backpack!" She exclaimed, her voice trembling.

Strong Bad burst into giddy laughter,

"Oh man! Look at you! All scared and angry! You should have heard yourself scream." He wiped tears of joy from his eyes, clearly getting a big kick out of his prank. And Homestar, always eager to fit in, laughed as well, although he didn't quite get it.

"It's not funny." Marzipan said sternly, "A little animal had to die for your stupid joke."

"I didn't kill it, I just found it like that. And yes, it is hilarious."

"Eat shit and die Strong Bad," she huffed, tossing the frog back at him.

He jumped out of the way.

"Oh yeah? Well eat shit and live, Marzipan!" And he wandered off, still rather amused with himself.

The incident made everyone forget that they were supposed to meet up again with Coach Z, and for the rest of the day they all left him standing outside by himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The "eat shit and die/live" exchange was taken from a movie that I watched recently. I really hated the movie for a number of reasons, but the line made me laugh so I stole it for my own purposes.


End file.
